How the Zim Stole Christmas
by Des
Summary: Oh, you gotta love a Grinch parody. R/R, so that my time spent trying to come up with rhymes is not wasted! ^_^


I don't own Zim! I don't own the Grinch! So leave me alone! ;_;   
  
Zim read a book, of a Christmassy sort. It sickened him, this sure was something to thwart. However the humans seemed to find it so handsome... "I think I'll steal Christmas and hold it for ransom! With Christmas on the line, they will surely give in! And then the whole world shall bow down to ZIIIIM!"   
  
Then in ran in Gir, in his puppy suit green, and ran in a circle and crazily screamed, "MELONS! MELONS FOR ALL!" as he jumped like a bean.   
  
Zim grabbed up his robot, and ran to the attic, and whipped out the vootrunner's disguise-thing-o-matic. And choosing a picture, he stepped in and screamed, for disguises were painful when from this machine.   
  
When he came out he was in a santa suit, it looked like the hobo one but it was red as a .... boot? O_o; And tying a stick to the head of Gir, he shouted "COMPUTER! BRING THE VOOT-CARRIER!"   
  
The computer complied, and the ship floated to him. "Now make it look like a sled! So we can reign... doom-im!" As the computer made the disguise, we heard Zim exclaim, "Whoever wrote this fanfic is lacking a brain."   
  
They got in the vootrunner and hooked the carrier behind, and Gir sang the doom song and Zim twitched his eye. And raising a finger up to the sky, he exclaimed, "First I'll doom Dib's house!" Gir smiled and said "Whyyyy?"   
  
Zim chose not to answer as he landed on the roof. And Gir jumped out, dancing and yelling like a goof. And Zim grabbed the robot and clamped his mouth shut, and Gir poked him repeatedly, right in the gut. Zim set him down and said "Enough! Enough!"   
  
"Now stay on the roof, Gir, and don't make a sound! If the Dib-human should awaken, he'll alert the whole town!"   
"Okeedokee!" Gir screamed, and Zim muttered aloud, "If he weren't really advanced, I would pound him. I'D POUND!"   
  
Zim jumped down the chimmeny, and landed with a THOOM. "These stockings," he said, "Will be the first to get doomed."   
  
(And in the background, we hear the song "You're a mean one, Mr. Zim." It sounds exactly like "You're a mean one, Mr. Grinch," but it just keeps saying Mr. Zim. The singer sounds suspiciously like Des.)   
  
All the stockings and presents he stuffed in his sack, then dashed to the kitchen to clean out the snacks. And once that was done, Zimmy shouted with glee, "I'm so AMAZING! It's time for the tree!"   
  
And then from the bedroom, Gaz came out in her nightie, for Zim's noise cost her a level, her rage was quite mighty.   
  
"ZIM! What are you doing with our tree?!" She glared as she crossed her arms angrily.   
  
And because the Invader was so clever and slick, he thought up a lie and he thought it up quick. "I am Santa, you FOOL, Not Zim! YOU LIE! And the lights on your tree don't light up on one side. I'm telling you, wormbaby, there's nothing to fear, I'll fix it up in my workshop then bring it back here."   
  
Gaz clenched both her fists and then narrowed her eyes. "You cost me a level. You're going to DIE!"   
  
Zim jumped back in terror, and from his backpack, he yelled to Gir, "HELP ME!" in the communicator, Jack. Gir squealed in a happy voice, sounding uncouth, and sent the ship crashing right through the roof.   
  
Zim widened his eyes, but jumped into his craft, and threw the sack in that carried the gifts. (Okay, so it doesn't rhyme. But I tried! ^^;;) Gaz grumbled and went to the kitchen for a snack, her head turned all the way 'round and her whole eyes turned black. "ZIM STOLE ALL THE EGG NOG! I'm getting it back!"   
  
And as Zim and Gir flew off with all of the loot, Gaz stole some kid's scooter and chased in pursuit!   
  
Zim took no notice of Gaz on her scooter, and robbed some more houses, and Gir acted cuter. Zim stole all the presents, and all the food from the houses! The crumbs that he left were too small even for mouses.   
  
By the time he had robbed the whole entire town, the stuff was so heavy the ships dragged on the ground. But he still persevered and rode up to Mt. Crumpet, and said "If they don't give in, I'm gonna dump it." But he paused and he waited for the sun to arise, and Gir glomped his leg and screamed "PIES! THE PIES!" Zim was thinking, and liked what he thought. "Oh, I'll rule the world, and I'll never be forgot. The sad little meatbags, I know what they'll do. When they find their stuff gone, all the pitiful hyuuumans will all cry Boo hoo."   
  
The sun then arised, and Zim listened for a sound. And one did come, almost as if from the ground. But the sound that he heard was really not sad. It was actually...if anything...sounded quite glad.   
  
(We see all the citizens of the city standing in a circle and holding hands and singing. Des, Nak, Zilon, Ciz, and everyone in the IZ Thrillers, Martian Killers neopets guild makes a cameo.)   
  
Zim scratched his head, but then he had a thought. "It couldn't be! Never! It simply could not! It came without presents! It came without tags! It came without packages, boxes or bags!!" But then he thought, maybe Christmas...doesn't come from the store. "Perhaps," he thought, "Christmas, is something much more....these stinkbeasts are sadder than I ever thought before!"   
  
With that, he took all the sacks out of the ship, and prepared to drop them off the side of the cliff. When suddenly from behind, he heard a yell, and quickly wheeled around, and I do tell, behind him was Gaz, who was wielding a bat, and Zim laughed nervously, then ran away, FAST.   
  
Gaz muttered a curse, and then followed him quick, and tackled the Irken imposter St. Nick, and taking the sack, she slid the vootrunner down, and headed with everything back to the town.   
  
She brought back the presents, she brought back the feast, she brought back the stockings, she brought back the....um...yeast. And as everyone else was enjoying the feast, she played her GameSlave as Dib carved the roast beast. 


End file.
